Marriage Tip Monday

On The Job Training


Marriage is to be held in honor among all. Hebrews 13:4

When a buffet restaurant offered a free Valentine's Day lunch to any couple who's been married for 50 years or more, over 300 people showed up. At a gathering like that, you get a lot more than a good time and good food; you also learn some good advice on what it takes to make a marriage last:

* "If I want anything fairly expensive, I'll talk it over with him, and he'll do the same with me."

* " When you go to bed, always kiss good-night. We always kiss good-bye when we leave each other."

* "I'm the boss. I make sure that everything she wants gets done."

* "Treat each other with kindness, love, and respect. Just work it out together. Don't fuss. We stay mad an hour or two, but that's it...and it's fun to make up."

* "Look at thing in different ways and concentrate on the 'good' in your relationship. I always say 'This too shall pass' and it usually does."

* "You do a lot of counting to 10.....or 20, if necessary."

* "We were always taught, 'Till death do you part.' Divorce was never discussed in our house.

*"When he was young, he was high-tempered, so I usually didn't say much. But when you don't say anything, you don't have to take anything back."

* "When we said 'I do', we didn't say it was just for tomorrow. You've got to tie the knot where it can't be untied."

Spoken like real pros.

DISCUSS
Regardless of how long you've been married, what would you say are the secrets of your commitment to each other?

PRAY
Ask God for many years together....and for all the daily requirements of life-long love.


Taken from Moments with You by Dennis & Barbara Rainey

A Night of Psalms

Don't forget tonight.....

31 Days of Praying for Your Husband

 

Wives, please check out this blog.  It has 31 different prayers to cover your husband with. It is your responsibility and privilege to be praying for your man!

Date Night

While Bobby and I were dating and we would go out to eat, I would see couples just sitting there, not talking. I thought, we'll never be that way. We'll always have so much to talk about. Fast forward 5 years, and we are that couple. We are comfortable with each other and don't feel the need to fill the silence all the time. Thanks to Pinterest, I came across this list of 50 questions you can ask your spouse, so I thought it would be fun to list a few of them. Here are the first 10. Check out the blog to see the rest of them.

1.  What are your 5 favorite foods, with the most favorite first?
2.  What are your 5 favorite kinds of meals, with the most favorite first?
3.  What are your 5 favorite desserts, with the most favorite first?
4.  What are your 5 favorite restaurants, with the most favorite first?
5.  What is your favorite color?
6.  What are your 5 favorite hobbies, with the most favorite  first?
7.  What are your 5 favorite recreations, with the most favorite  first?
8.  What are your 5 favorite sources of reading, with the most favorite  first?
9.  What gifts do you like?
10.  What is your favorite books(s) of the Bible? Why?

Facebook Group

If you haven't heard, Philip set us up with not only a Twitter account, but a Facebook group also! Check us out and ask to join. I think we have all the major media outlets covered now :-)

Remember, if you ever have anything to post to the blog, let me know. If you come across a great devotion that spoke to you, or another blog that lifted you up, send it to me. I would love to have something everything that helps strengthen our marriages!

Marriage Tip Monday

Here's something fun to try for a week...set up a ratio of "together-time" to TV-watching.  So for example, "allow" yourselves 1 hour of TV for each hour you spend together doing non-TV activities, like going for a walk, talking, playing a game, having family devotions or dinner together, etc.  Or choose another increment...maybe 15 min of together-time will "earn" an hour of TV.  Sometimes starting small is an easier adjustment.  The ratio can always be tweaked the following week!   

Sunday ABF

Don't forget this Sunday, February 19th, we are meeting with the Roads Group. Plan on meeting in the Fellowship Hall during our regular ABF time (11:15). The topic will be Singleness and Marriage.


In case it's been awhile since you've been, First Baptist Irving is at 403 S Main St. Irving,TX. You can get more directions HERE.

Hope to see you all there!

100 Ways to Make your Marriage Rock

I love this blog! This is written by the same couple that runs Union 28 that has the awesome shirts proclaiming your love for your spouse.

You can check out their list of 100 ways to make your marriage rock HERE.

A Night of Psalms

Sunday night February 26, at 6:30 PM, First Baptist Irving is proud to present, " A Night of Psalms" - An Extraordinary Night of music and worship to benefit the SEALS ministry of First Irving, which feeds the homeless in downtown Dallas week in and week out.
First Baptist Irving is asking guests to fill one brown paper gift sack with travel size toiletry items (toothpaste, toothbrush, deodorant, soap, shampoo, conditioner, comb, lotion, & disposable razors) to the church, which will serve as your ticket for "A Night of Psalms." Please bring the filled bag with you to the church that evening.
It is an honor to be able to be the hands and feet of Christ in Irving. Please make plans to join us and participate that evening, as we seek to minister to the community of Irving and sing worship to our God on February 26.


For more information, contact the church office.

Change in Plans

Don't forget this Sunday, February 19th, we are meeting with the Roads Group. Plan on meeting in the Fellowship Hall during our regular ABF time (11:15). The topic will be Singleness and Marriage.

In case it's been awhile since you've been, First Baptist Irving is at 403 S Main St. Irving,TX. You can get more directions HERE.

Hope to see you all there!

Embracing the Other

Brad brought a great lesson on Sunday regarding the roles within a marriage. Here are just some key points.

Both men and women play the role of Jesus in marriage. They will play it differently, but both still get that opportunity.

Husband's Role: Jesus in His sacrificial AUTHORITY (Matt 20:25-28)

The role of the Husband is to model Christ's example of servant leadership. One of the passages that best displays this is John 13:1-17 in which Jesus washes the disciples feet. Authority and leadership means that you become the servant, you die to self in order to love and serve the Other.

Wife's Role: Jesus in His sacrificial SUBMISSION (Philippians 2:4-11)

It is important to note the equality of the Father and Son in the Trinity. Both are absolutely equal. Yet the Son displays His willingness to submit to the Father. This submission is 100% voluntary, a gift to the Father. A women's submission in marriage should not coerced, but a voluntary gift to her husband.

The Son takes a subordinate role, and in doing so, shows not weakness, but unbelievable strength.

The Result

The common them is sacrifice. Each wishes to please the other. Love and honor are given, accepted, and given again.

Discuss with your spouse this week:

1. In a normal day of the week, how can each of you fulfill your role in marriage?

2. In life's big decisions, how can each of you fulfill your role in marriage?

3. Wives, tell your husband 1-3 things that would help you feel served, loved, and appreciated. Husbands, tell your wife 1-3 ways that you would feel more supported and encouraged. Commit to putting this in a place where you will see it daily and try to begin doing these things without being asked. Also think of other ways you could show this. Marriage is most amazing when both spouses are proactively fulfilling their roles.

Twitter

If you are on twitter, make sure you follow the Rolling Stone's class at

http://twitter.com/RollingStoneFBC

Valentine's Day Ideas

PSSSTTTT....Boys...(and maybe you girls too)....tomorrow is Valentine's Day! My personal opinion is this is a made up holiday so that card and flower people can make money. But alas, not everyone shares my opinion. To your spouse, this might be the best day on Earth! Here a few ideas for how to make tomorrow special :-)

1. Create an indoor picnic with available props, i.e., picnic tablecloth, paper goods. Share finger foods and favorite treats. Spice up “dessert.” Enjoy your picnic on the living room floor or in bed. Play card games,
board games, or make up your own.

2.  Leave a note on your mate’s pillow expressing how special you think he/she is. Place a couple of mints on the pillow, too (or a single rose)…all to be discovered at bedtime.

3. Watch an old movie at home together, with popcorn and soft drinks and candy – movie-theater style.

4. Write a “Top 10 Reasons Why I Love You” list.

5. Write “I love you because….” notes and insert them into balloons. Blow up the balloons, and spread the balloons throughout your bedroom for your Valentine to pop and capture each message.

I am sure there are plenty more wonderful ideas. I hope you have a fabulous Valentine's Day with your beloved! Remember to take time every day to let them know how much you love them, not just on February 14th! :-)

Marriage Tip Monday

Pick one evening a month to set aside for just you and your spouse - maybe the first Friday of each month or the10th of each month - choose a day or date you can look forward to. Then put it on your family calendar...children notice when mommy and daddy like and prioritize spending time together.

Marriage Tip Monday

Make a commitment to do what's right when it comes to honoring your marriage.  This can be a great conversation between you and your spouse!  Find out what's important to each other (not being demeaning in public, guarding what you view on the internet, speaking respectfully in disagreements, etc.) and then discuss regularly. It's not about being perfect; it's about building trust and intimacy through honesty, respect, forgiveness, and cheering each other on!

Union 28

Marriage Tip Monday

Can You Dish It Out?

And He was saying to them all, "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me." Luke 9:23

Did you know there are four ways for a man to load a dishwasher?

1. The way he's been trained by his mother.
2. The way his wife likes it done.
3. The way he does it at his mother-in-law's house.
4. The way he does it when no one's looking.

Now, is one of these methods right and all the others wrong? Can't a man just cram in as many pots and pans and bowls and plates as possible, in whatever arrangement it takes to get the door closed?

Can any woman prove me wrong on this with absolute certainty?

Sure, the proper dishwasher loading method is not a big marriage deal. But it's an example of those little tastes and preferences we have, those minor points of difference that can often fester into major arguments and problems.

If you're going to keep the little things your spouse does from becoming real irritants and obstacles in your relationship, you need to deny yourself, like Jesus said in today's verse. Rather than insisting that your way is right in matters of minor importance, let some stuff go. Rather than nagging and nitpicking-which is like being nibbled to death by a duck-express your dislikes in ways that don't rankle and threaten and lead to even bigger blowups.

Throughout your marriage, you'll have hundreds, perhaps thousands, of opportunities like these to either die to yourself or rise up in your own defense. Remember that there are a lot worse things in life than rewashing the cereal bowls. And yes, I do know how to load a dishwasher now- since 1972, Barbara has been training me!

DISCUSS
What is something your spouse does that drives you crazy? Can you cover it with grace?

PRAY
Thank you Lord Jesus for setting us an everyday example of patience in His dealings with us.

This was taken from the book Bobby and I are reading called Moments with You by Dennis & Barbara Rainey. We love reading this book every night! And in our house, Bobby is training me to load the dishwasher correctly :-)

Affair Proofing Your Marriage

This came from Lysa Terkeurt's blog. She is the president of Proverbs 31 ministries, as well as a bestselling author.  


"Charles Spurgeon is quoted to have said, “It’s not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness.”
When my husband and I got married we had a tough time transitioning from being two strong-willed independent people into a unified couple.  We didn’t have huge marriage issues to overcome — we had a lot of little everyday annoyances that started to chip away at the foundation of our relationship.
Slowly, we stopped seeing all we had and started focusing on all that was lacking in each other.
Honestly, enjoying each other got lost in all the efforts to fix each other.  If you’ve ever been in this place with a relationship, you know how disillusioning it can be.  You know how it can open your marriage up to a world of attack and the temptation to think, “Did I marry the wrong person?  I didn’t know it was going to be this hard.”
One day I was pouring my heart out to God in utter frustration.  I desperately wanted to get off the hamster wheel of aggravation we seemed to be stuck on.  We just kept going around and around with what was lacking in our relationship but never made any effort to progress in doing something right.
As I was praying, an idea popped into my head… The Love Jar Activity.
This would be an activity where each of us would have a jar with 5 slips of paper inside.  Art would write one thing on each of his papers that I could do for him that would speak love to him.  And I would do the same with my papers.
Then we’d switch jars and once a week for 5 weeks straight, we’d draw a piece of paper from each other’s jar.  Whatever that paper suggested, we’d do that special thing for the other person sometime during that week.
Of course, we established some parameters going into the game that fit our schedules and budget.  And I can’t say Art was jumping up and down when I introduced this idea to him… but eventually he warmed up to the idea and in the end wound up loving it!
As the weeks went on this simple activity did 3 crucial things in our relationship…
1.  It reintroduced a sense of fun that had gotten lost in the minutia of life.
2.  It taught us how important it is to be a life long student of your mate… Really seeking to understand how this other person receives love and needs to be loved.
3.  It reminded us that love is a choice.  We can’t rely on “that loving feeling” to always find us… we have to choose love and let the feelings follow.
Honestly, I think this simple activity did more to help recapture the love in our relationship than anything else we could have done in this really tough season."

She goes on to mention two different books of hers: Capture Her Heart for the guys, and Capture His Heart for the girls.

Marriage Tip Monday

Communication involves listening and speaking in a loving manner. Practice speaking in a way that encourages your spouse to listen. In the heat of the moment, put the dramatics aside and speak in a controlled manner with kindness and a guarded tongue. The goal is to facilitate understanding not to start a war.

From Union 28

The Meaning of Marriage

Sunday we started our new study that follows along with the book The Meaning of Marriage. Brad brought a great message on our our marriages should look completely different from society's views on marriage. Our marriages should be Christ-centered and divorce should not even be an option!

One thing Bobby and I agreed on when we got married was to completely take that word out of our vocabulary. We don't even joke about it! You never can tell if that joking is half serious, or if it truly is just a joke. Sometimes that's hard because I will find myself about to say something (of course joking 100%) and I have to bite my tongue because I know that would cause some serious damage!

Another thing I heard that I agreed with was not saying anything negative about your spouse in front of other people. And I think it should go even further and I will say never in front of your parents! People tend to hold on to negatives and they will always remember that one time you said something bad about your spouse. Just don't do it! :-)


Have a great week Rolling Stoners! I can't wait to see what next Sunday brings us.

Marriage Tip Monday

Your body language makes all the difference when interacting with your spouse. This week, practice listening with your face – communicating love and respect by giving your full attention with a good attitude. 

From Union 28