Pick one evening a month to set aside for just you and your spouse - maybe the first Friday of each month or the10th of each month - choose a day or date you can look forward to. Then put it on your family calendar...children notice when mommy and daddy like and prioritize spending time together.
Monday, February 6, 2012
Monday, January 30, 2012
Marriage Tip Monday
Make a commitment to do what's right when it comes to honoring your marriage. This can be a great conversation between you and your spouse! Find out what's important to each other (not being demeaning in public, guarding what you view on the internet, speaking respectfully in disagreements, etc.) and then discuss regularly. It's not about being perfect; it's about building trust and intimacy through honesty, respect, forgiveness, and cheering each other on!
Union 28
Marriage Tip Monday
Can You Dish It Out?
And He was saying to them all, "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me." Luke 9:23
Did you know there are four ways for a man to load a dishwasher?
1. The way he's been trained by his mother.
2. The way his wife likes it done.
3. The way he does it at his mother-in-law's house.
4. The way he does it when no one's looking.
Now, is one of these methods right and all the others wrong? Can't a man just cram in as many pots and pans and bowls and plates as possible, in whatever arrangement it takes to get the door closed?
Can any woman prove me wrong on this with absolute certainty?
Sure, the proper dishwasher loading method is not a big marriage deal. But it's an example of those little tastes and preferences we have, those minor points of difference that can often fester into major arguments and problems.
If you're going to keep the little things your spouse does from becoming real irritants and obstacles in your relationship, you need to deny yourself, like Jesus said in today's verse. Rather than insisting that your way is right in matters of minor importance, let some stuff go. Rather than nagging and nitpicking-which is like being nibbled to death by a duck-express your dislikes in ways that don't rankle and threaten and lead to even bigger blowups.
Throughout your marriage, you'll have hundreds, perhaps thousands, of opportunities like these to either die to yourself or rise up in your own defense. Remember that there are a lot worse things in life than rewashing the cereal bowls. And yes, I do know how to load a dishwasher now- since 1972, Barbara has been training me!
DISCUSS
What is something your spouse does that drives you crazy? Can you cover it with grace?
PRAY
Thank you Lord Jesus for setting us an everyday example of patience in His dealings with us.
This was taken from the book Bobby and I are reading called Moments with You by Dennis & Barbara Rainey. We love reading this book every night! And in our house, Bobby is training me to load the dishwasher correctly :-)
And He was saying to them all, "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me." Luke 9:23
Did you know there are four ways for a man to load a dishwasher?
1. The way he's been trained by his mother.
2. The way his wife likes it done.
3. The way he does it at his mother-in-law's house.
4. The way he does it when no one's looking.
Now, is one of these methods right and all the others wrong? Can't a man just cram in as many pots and pans and bowls and plates as possible, in whatever arrangement it takes to get the door closed?
Can any woman prove me wrong on this with absolute certainty?
Sure, the proper dishwasher loading method is not a big marriage deal. But it's an example of those little tastes and preferences we have, those minor points of difference that can often fester into major arguments and problems.
If you're going to keep the little things your spouse does from becoming real irritants and obstacles in your relationship, you need to deny yourself, like Jesus said in today's verse. Rather than insisting that your way is right in matters of minor importance, let some stuff go. Rather than nagging and nitpicking-which is like being nibbled to death by a duck-express your dislikes in ways that don't rankle and threaten and lead to even bigger blowups.
Throughout your marriage, you'll have hundreds, perhaps thousands, of opportunities like these to either die to yourself or rise up in your own defense. Remember that there are a lot worse things in life than rewashing the cereal bowls. And yes, I do know how to load a dishwasher now- since 1972, Barbara has been training me!
DISCUSS
What is something your spouse does that drives you crazy? Can you cover it with grace?
PRAY
Thank you Lord Jesus for setting us an everyday example of patience in His dealings with us.
This was taken from the book Bobby and I are reading called Moments with You by Dennis & Barbara Rainey. We love reading this book every night! And in our house, Bobby is training me to load the dishwasher correctly :-)
Monday, January 23, 2012
Affair Proofing Your Marriage
This came from Lysa Terkeurt's blog. She is the president of Proverbs 31 ministries, as well as a bestselling author.
"Charles Spurgeon is quoted to have said, “It’s not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness.”
When my husband and I got married we had a tough time transitioning from being two strong-willed independent people into a unified couple. We didn’t have huge marriage issues to overcome — we had a lot of little everyday annoyances that started to chip away at the foundation of our relationship.
Slowly, we stopped seeing all we had and started focusing on all that was lacking in each other.
Honestly, enjoying each other got lost in all the efforts to fix each other. If you’ve ever been in this place with a relationship, you know how disillusioning it can be. You know how it can open your marriage up to a world of attack and the temptation to think, “Did I marry the wrong person? I didn’t know it was going to be this hard.”
One day I was pouring my heart out to God in utter frustration. I desperately wanted to get off the hamster wheel of aggravation we seemed to be stuck on. We just kept going around and around with what was lacking in our relationship but never made any effort to progress in doing something right.
As I was praying, an idea popped into my head… The Love Jar Activity.
This would be an activity where each of us would have a jar with 5 slips of paper inside. Art would write one thing on each of his papers that I could do for him that would speak love to him. And I would do the same with my papers.
Then we’d switch jars and once a week for 5 weeks straight, we’d draw a piece of paper from each other’s jar. Whatever that paper suggested, we’d do that special thing for the other person sometime during that week.
Of course, we established some parameters going into the game that fit our schedules and budget. And I can’t say Art was jumping up and down when I introduced this idea to him… but eventually he warmed up to the idea and in the end wound up loving it!
As the weeks went on this simple activity did 3 crucial things in our relationship…
1. It reintroduced a sense of fun that had gotten lost in the minutia of life.
2. It taught us how important it is to be a life long student of your mate… Really seeking to understand how this other person receives love and needs to be loved.
3. It reminded us that love is a choice. We can’t rely on “that loving feeling” to always find us… we have to choose love and let the feelings follow.
Honestly, I think this simple activity did more to help recapture the love in our relationship than anything else we could have done in this really tough season."
She goes on to mention two different books of hers: Capture Her Heart for the guys, and Capture His Heart for the girls.
"Charles Spurgeon is quoted to have said, “It’s not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness.”
When my husband and I got married we had a tough time transitioning from being two strong-willed independent people into a unified couple. We didn’t have huge marriage issues to overcome — we had a lot of little everyday annoyances that started to chip away at the foundation of our relationship.
Slowly, we stopped seeing all we had and started focusing on all that was lacking in each other.
Honestly, enjoying each other got lost in all the efforts to fix each other. If you’ve ever been in this place with a relationship, you know how disillusioning it can be. You know how it can open your marriage up to a world of attack and the temptation to think, “Did I marry the wrong person? I didn’t know it was going to be this hard.”
One day I was pouring my heart out to God in utter frustration. I desperately wanted to get off the hamster wheel of aggravation we seemed to be stuck on. We just kept going around and around with what was lacking in our relationship but never made any effort to progress in doing something right.
As I was praying, an idea popped into my head… The Love Jar Activity.
This would be an activity where each of us would have a jar with 5 slips of paper inside. Art would write one thing on each of his papers that I could do for him that would speak love to him. And I would do the same with my papers.
Then we’d switch jars and once a week for 5 weeks straight, we’d draw a piece of paper from each other’s jar. Whatever that paper suggested, we’d do that special thing for the other person sometime during that week.
Of course, we established some parameters going into the game that fit our schedules and budget. And I can’t say Art was jumping up and down when I introduced this idea to him… but eventually he warmed up to the idea and in the end wound up loving it!
As the weeks went on this simple activity did 3 crucial things in our relationship…
1. It reintroduced a sense of fun that had gotten lost in the minutia of life.
2. It taught us how important it is to be a life long student of your mate… Really seeking to understand how this other person receives love and needs to be loved.
3. It reminded us that love is a choice. We can’t rely on “that loving feeling” to always find us… we have to choose love and let the feelings follow.
Honestly, I think this simple activity did more to help recapture the love in our relationship than anything else we could have done in this really tough season."
She goes on to mention two different books of hers: Capture Her Heart for the guys, and Capture His Heart for the girls.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Marriage Tip Monday
Communication involves listening and speaking in a loving manner. Practice speaking in a way that encourages your spouse to listen. In the heat of the moment, put the dramatics aside and speak in a controlled manner with kindness and a guarded tongue. The goal is to facilitate understanding not to start a war.
From Union 28
From Union 28
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
The Meaning of Marriage
Sunday we started our new study that follows along with the book The Meaning of Marriage. Brad brought a great message on our our marriages should look completely different from society's views on marriage. Our marriages should be Christ-centered and divorce should not even be an option!
One thing Bobby and I agreed on when we got married was to completely take that word out of our vocabulary. We don't even joke about it! You never can tell if that joking is half serious, or if it truly is just a joke. Sometimes that's hard because I will find myself about to say something (of course joking 100%) and I have to bite my tongue because I know that would cause some serious damage!
Another thing I heard that I agreed with was not saying anything negative about your spouse in front of other people. And I think it should go even further and I will say never in front of your parents! People tend to hold on to negatives and they will always remember that one time you said something bad about your spouse. Just don't do it! :-)
Have a great week Rolling Stoners! I can't wait to see what next Sunday brings us.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Marriage Tip Monday
Your body language makes all the difference when interacting with your spouse. This week, practice listening with your face – communicating love and respect by giving your full attention with a good attitude.
From Union 28
From Union 28
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Marriage Tip Monday
I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and a great New Year! I can't believe 2012 is here already. Due to being in vacation mode, here's Marriage Tip Monday on a Tuesday. This came from yahoo...surprise they actually do have good relationship advice sometimes :-)
Keep your relationship from feeling too platonic by making sure that nonsexual touching is a part of your everyday interaction with your partner, advises Dr. Block. That means a warm hug, an arm around the waist, a shoulder massage or caressing your partner's hand. Men especially respond to touch as a conveyance of affection, and it fulfills an intrinsic need for attachment that everyone craves--plus, it doesn't take any additional time out of your day. Also keep in mind that when people feel appreciated they are more likely to extend appreciation in return. "As busy as you might be, take a minute or two to leave a sexy note in lipstick on the bathroom mirror, or write a naughty letter and hide it in the book he's reading," suggests Denay. Or create a "Love Arsenal" for sneak attacks: "Fill a box with his favorite candies and romantic cards so that when you want to show him you care you have the goods on hand," says Denay. "The romantic quotient is turned up a notch when someone finds something unexpected, and the benefits you'll reap are worth a hundred times the effort."
Keep your relationship from feeling too platonic by making sure that nonsexual touching is a part of your everyday interaction with your partner, advises Dr. Block. That means a warm hug, an arm around the waist, a shoulder massage or caressing your partner's hand. Men especially respond to touch as a conveyance of affection, and it fulfills an intrinsic need for attachment that everyone craves--plus, it doesn't take any additional time out of your day. Also keep in mind that when people feel appreciated they are more likely to extend appreciation in return. "As busy as you might be, take a minute or two to leave a sexy note in lipstick on the bathroom mirror, or write a naughty letter and hide it in the book he's reading," suggests Denay. Or create a "Love Arsenal" for sneak attacks: "Fill a box with his favorite candies and romantic cards so that when you want to show him you care you have the goods on hand," says Denay. "The romantic quotient is turned up a notch when someone finds something unexpected, and the benefits you'll reap are worth a hundred times the effort."
Monday, December 19, 2011
Marriage Tip Monday
Love in marriage should be given unselfishly and unconditionally. This is easier said than done, but in the end, it's a choice - we choose to love because we've made a covenant with our spouse that says, "I do" despite the circumstance, or a bad attitude, or a rough day. "If you're loving your spouse only to get love in return, that's not love, that's trading." - Gary Thomas. Trading is for baseball cards & recipes...in your marriage, choose to give love based on your promise, not your expectations. This kind of love sets you free!
Monday, December 12, 2011
Marriage Tip Monday
Amidst the hustle and bustle of the holiday season tensions can mount and stress can run high. Patience is often replaced with impatience and we can easily be offended by our spouse’s words and actions, even when no offense was intended. This Christmas, give the gift of grace to your spouse; it may just be the best (and most appreciated) gift you give.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Financial Advice
This week's lesson was on finances. That is one thing that Bobby and I set up before we got married, and it really has helped us be better stewards of the money God has given us. We use a modified Dave Ramsey's envelope system with cash only. I challenge you to sit down with your spouse this week and develop a budget that works best for your family.
Mint.com is a great webiste, if you're willing to put in your bank account information.
Proverbs 3:9-10Honor the Lord from your wealth and from the first of all your produce; so your barns will be filled with plenty and your vats will overflow with new wine.
Mint.com is a great webiste, if you're willing to put in your bank account information.
Dave Ramsey is another great website to use. Here is a link to budget forms.
Another great website is Kiplinger. It has a lot of great retirement advice, as well as lots of other helpful information.
I came across this website Christian Personal Finance today, looks like it might have some good advice from a Christian perspective.
I think the best thing that we did with our budget is we each get our own spending money each month. We can use that money on whatever we want. If I want to go spend all mine in one shopping trip at Target (which, girls, you know it's possible!) then I can. If Bobby wants to save his for some new hunting toy, that's his money. For us, that eliminated that entire argument that starts with, "You spent how much on ANOTHER __________"
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Christmas Events
Lots of fun and exciting things going on at FBI.
December 11th - A First Family Christmas
Featuring our Children's Choirs, a reading of the Christmas story, and our favorite Christmas songs. Begins at 6:30 PM.
December 14th - Christmas Communion
Join us Wednesday eventing at 6:15 PM in the Fellowship Hall for a time of reflection on the Child who was born to die.
December 17th & 18th - Carols & Candlelight
Two extraordinary nights of music. Beings at 7:00 PM.Tickets are required, but free, and are available begining Sunday, Nov 13 in the HUB.
Monday, December 5, 2011
Marriage Tip Monday
Love your spouse with the sense of sight! Make a decision to guard your eyes from that which would hinder your marriage or dishonor your spouse. But in the privacy of your marriage relationship, delight in seeing each other and in making yourself attractive for your spouse. Be willing to go the extra mile - a spouse will usually notice when you make an effort to shave, add a little makeup, or wear his/her favorite color, even if they don't mention it. When you take time for and pride in yourself, it shows your love for your spouse!
From Union 28
From Union 28
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Rolling Stone's Christmas Party
When: Saturday Dec 10th @ 6pm
Where: The Leidner's
Please bring $22 per couple to help pay for the food & either an appetizer or dessert.
Can't wait to see you all there!! Please email me at mbl6613@gmail.com if you have any questions.
Monday, November 28, 2011
Marriage Tip Monday
Love your spouse with the sense of hearing! Never underestimate the power of allowing your spouse to hear you speak words of affirmation and affection in public and in private. Even if you need to have a difficult conversation, speaking in a loving, non-threatening manner invites your spouse to listen. When your speech is seasoned with love and respect, walls come down, trust is built in your relationship, and intimacy deepens. Scripture says the tongue holds the power of life and death, so set a guard over your tongue and speak LIFE.
From Union 28
From Union 28
Monday, November 21, 2011
Marriage Tip Monday
Love your spouse with the sense of touch! Whether offering a hug, stealing a kiss, squeezing his shoulder, or stroking her hair, let your spouse know that he/she is safe with you and that your touch can be trusted and desired as a means of encouragement, affection, and love...and allow your children to see these interactions - it will reassure them of your love for each other and boost their confidence in your love for them.
From Union 28
From Union 28
Monday, November 14, 2011
Marriage Tip Monday
Love your spouse with the sense of smell! This doesn't have to require high maintenance or expensive perfume; besides, you know what your spouse likes - a certain after-shave, a particular scent of lotion...or what about giving the gift of fresh-baked cookies, a flower, lighting a scented candle or offering an apology for a stinky attitude...the gift of a pleasing aroma in your home and in your heart can relieve stress and communicate love.
From Union 28
From Union 28
Monday, November 7, 2011
Marriage Tip Monday
Love your spouse with all 5 senses - today we're talking about taste! What food does your spouse crave or consider a treat? Go on a surprise date to her favorite restaurant, pick up his favorite game-time snack at the grocery store, or invite your spouse home from a hard day's work with a freshly baked goodie, right out of the oven! Grab a quick mix or try this amazing homemade brownie recipe!
From Union 28
From Union 28
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Planning Your Marriage
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| image courtesy of Rachel Ledbetter Photography |
Last week Brett opened us with a great lesson on our calling, our gifting, and our burdens. He assigned us some homework, and challenged us to sit down with our spouses and uncover what gifts and talents we each have been given. We were to list all the gifts & talents we bring to our marriage and discuss the complete list of what God has brought together between the two of us.
This week, Brad added in finding what is the biggest burden God has placed on our hearts in our marriage. For example, Brad & Rachel's burden is marriage. They have seen so many broken marriages lately, they feel God is putting that burden on their heart to minister to married people. That is how they will focus in on using their gifts and talents.
This week, Brad brought in creating a 50 year vision for your family. By analyzing our gifts, talents, and burdens that each spouse brings to the table, there are many clues as to what God may be calling us to in the future.
We should be praying through very specific details, both in how we want to be spending our time and money in 50 years.
With your spouse, think & pray through these questions this week:
1. Based on the gifts, talents, and burdens, what might the Lord be calling us to for our marriage and family in the future?
2. How do we want to be spending our time & money in retirement? What does retirement look like for us?
3. Do we feel called to leave any money or resources to our family? To a charity? To a ministry?
4. Develop a mission statement for your marriage.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Marriage Tip Monday
Do Good Things – Daily
"Doing goods things doesn't necessarily require spending a lot of money. Simple things, like picking up your dirty underwear, giving a free back rub, preparing dinner, writing an appreciative note, hand picking flowers or taking on a chore that your partner normally does, build intimacy and closeness in your marriage like nothing else.Attraction often follows on the heels of serving each other like you did in the early years of your relationship. Often it's the little things that count – not the big ones."
- Focus on the Family
I love little gifts that Bobby brings home, or the fact that he will oblige my OCD tendencies and put things away a specific way. Surprise your spouse with a good deed this week!
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